I'm in love with a man I had a one night stand with 6 years ago. How do I move forward?

This is a strange tale... I met a boy in college, and I fell madly in love with him from afar. He was what I always sought after in a soulmate. I studied him (we'll call him "Philip") like it was my major. I inquired about him, and I'd make friends with his friends just to get in "good" with him (Creepy, I know). One night he and I drank a little too much, and we slept together. For him, I think, it was just a one-night-stand. For me it was like a spark...I didn't know how to handle my emotions for him and the situation. So I distanced myself. He and I never really did speak again. But I yearn for this man. Years later I am MADLY in love with him. I'm in a relationship with another man. But I cannot move on from the aforementioned. In a perfect world (or in my sick mind), Philip and I would be together. But he is in a commited relationship, and I am too. And I don't want these feelings anymore. What steps can I take to move forward in my love life?|||This is just my opinion, but it seems like you may be confusing the ideal him, and the real him. You might be in love with an ideal, for some reason he represents. You don't even know this man! He barely knows you, right?





Love is something cultivated and worked on, a true friendship. Lust is another ball game! It is easy to distance yourself from your reality when you have these "feelings" for someone not in your reality. Maybe that is why you still carry a torch for him.





It will be hard to break this habit, but that is just what this is. A habit. If you concentrate on reality, on your life now your feelings might begin to fade.|||I'd like to thank you all for your answers. Clearly, I can benefit from counseling and communication with my boyfriend.

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|||Do you think he'll want to hear this?

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|||Move your question to the proper place.|||You're not in love with him. You barely KNOW him. You're in love with the IDEA of him.|||seek psyciatric help, you sound like a stalker.|||You're not "in love" with him, you're "infatuated and obsessed" with him.





Based on your post, I would recommend professional psychiatric help, because I think you're past the bounds of "rational" here.|||Seek counseling to learn to live in the real world and abandon your fantasy world...|||If you would be with him for a short while, i think most of your feelings would vanish. It sounds more like a himere than a true love. If you want to be sure, give him a call or something and see how that goes. But i really think you should move on with your life. Maybe the partner you have now is not what you really want and that's why things are not good. Maybe if you would meet somebody else to get you head over heels, you would forget that man for ever





BTW... wrong section :)|||Yeah, I know that guy. He's married with 5 kids. Get over it.|||Well, since you're in the religious section, I assume you want a religious answer. Pray about this - ask God to help you get over your feelings, read what the bible has to say about love.


http://www.broadcaster.org.uk/section2/t鈥?/a>





I hope this helps!|||Golly, everyone's being mean. I'd say, only you'd know if he really is the right one for you or just someone you have a thing for.


Sometimes you do meet people in life who you just really admire or have a thing for but that doesn't always mean they are the one. It's infatuation/desire.


And, once you actually meet the one, you realise your mistake all along.


But if you do have a geniune connection with this guy then ask him for coffee as a friend. But only you can know in your mind (even if it is sick) whether there could be anything geniune there.


Good luck.|||Love is a living thing. It grows or it dies. Let this one for Philip die.|||Seems to me that you fell in love with the thought of this person not really him. If you don't get over him your going to find yourself with nothing but broken relationships and you will never find true happiness.|||Well, I guess I can understand that kind of love for someone, especially if you were that intimate with him. Jesus told a woman that she had several husbands after she told him she wasn't married. Guess what, you have a "husband" too, in "Phil."





You're going to have to resolve this one yourself. If it's not realistic that you're going to get back together with Phil, then you will have to find your own way to deal with that pain. If it's of any comfort, you're not the only one that has to go through this. You don't have to be honest with your current boyfriend, but you do have to be honest with yourself.