First, I commend both of you for not wanting to go the abortion route.
Second, from what I hear, even if you don't "love" the mother you will actually "love" your son or daughter very, very much. Yes, you will need to pay child support and yes you will need to be involved in the child's life. Right now you guys are probably fighting because of a couple of things 1. you are both freaked out - duh; 2. She is hormonal; 3. you have life stress outside of this already stressful situation (your parents); 4. She may have feelings for you (not sure) even though you don't for her (ever talked about this); and 5. both of you are realizing that one night of partying has just changed BOTH of your lives forever. I doubt this was in her grand plan either so all the emotions you are going through so is she only she gets to carry the baby, wreck her body out and is probably emotional as hell right now. There is also a double standard in dating after a child. Women will still want to see you, men will see her as a woman with baggage. Not ALL men but a lot will so her "dating pool" has just been substantially limited for not just the 9 mos of pregnancy but forever.
Now, there isn't anything you can do to change the fact that the two of you are going to go through some changes and that some of them are going to just be uncomfortable (money/travel/etc). You will have to grieve that these things may be more limited than you had envisioned. This doesn't mean that you can never travel though - you have a life to lead too. You just might not be as unencumbered as before. Sucks but true.
Try to open your heart to the idea that this little life just might change yours for the better even if you don't know it yet. My pregnancy is actually planned and I am scared to death, trying to fit all the golf in I can before I'm too fat to do it. I hit balls yesterday and then threw up in the golf course parking lot (thankfully it was dark out). So my life is already changing and freaking me out. It can really put you into a state of panic and almost like a midlife crisis WHEN PLANNED let alone when UNPLANNED. Still, I think that there is still so much good that can come from this.
What is done is done and now your choice will be to focus on the love/life that you have brought into this world (albeit by accident) or focus on the negative only. Some of the worlds greatest discoveries were accidents - keep this in mind as you make your way through this unplanned journey.
EDIT: DO NOT DROP OUT OF SCHOOL UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES - WORK AND SCHOOL IF NECESSARY!!! I HAD FRIENDS IN LAW SCHOOL WITH KIDS AND A JOB AND THEY DID GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!|||Thanks to everyone for the helpful and sincere answers, really. Just am so scared. God had other plans for me other than partying all my life. Hope I become a better person thru this. Thanks again. Peace.
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|||If you think you won't be able to take care of it, then abortion is the only way but it is your child an many times it happens that you start loving a person. But if you really are sure, make the girl understand and tell her it is the only way you can get out of this fix and it would ruin her life if she keeps the baby. If you can, let the baby come and then put it for adoption.|||Well Lex, next time you will remember to use protection, and i mean YOU will remember.
Choices available;-
1 Abortion, buit seems as though the girl will be against it
2 Keeping the child, which will be expensive for both of you
3 Adoption, but neither parent will be able to see child unti it's at least 16, and only if it comes looking for you.
Good luck i hope this helps ( though you probs don't deserve it)
Mike t|||well i think you should get a DNA test when the baby is born to make sure it's yours. then even though you can't take care of yourself get over that. like you said it happened so get over it. be a man and be their for your baby emotionally, physical, and financially you don't have to like baby momma. just talk for baby sake.|||Bottom line is you slept with this girl you had unprotected sex she is now pregnant to make sure have a dna test when and if the baby is born. If she decides to keep the baby and it turns out to be yours you should step up and provide financially physically mentally end of story really.|||Ok calm down.
You dont have to stay with this babys mother if you dont want to. You dont have to marry her as someone on here suggested.
You need to tell your parents and she needs to tell hers and let them help you. Maybe consider adoption.
Woo Hoo: no he cant. the courts will not allow you to sign away your rights--- oh they will but he would still have to pay child support.|||Well sorry to say man its not your choice.
There comes a time in a mans life when he becomes responsible for more than himself.
You are responsible for that kid......
If she does have it....take care of that kid.
Forget about her, but don't just throw a relationship with the child away.
Good luck and hopefully it works out....|||*sigh* buck it up and be a man if the baby is yours seeing as its a one night stand be cautious as to if it is yours get a full time job and raise the baby right. learn who the girl is spend time with her and perhaps in time you will actually love her.|||first of all,calm down....
second of all it doesnt matter if you dont love her,theres a baby in the equation now so be carefull.. be a great dad and be there for the baby... be there for the mum too as she is the one carrying it... support her,do right by your son/daughter....
dont let her or the baby down.
dont let her have an abortion or anything becuse thats just cruel|||well... now you either have to marry her. AND i can't believe that you used her for that. Thats suppose to be something you do if you LOVE somebody. Now what?|||all i have to say is dont use abortion and help the girl with the baby all u can but if u cant take care of the baby after u tied for a bit put it up for adoption|||Hey Lex, its time to grow up and be a man. Be there for your child and support her. It WILL change you life for the better but will be challenging.
Good Luck|||take care of your child. he will be your responsibility too, not just the mother's. she's going to need you to be there for her to help out|||Abortion|||You could sign away your rights if you don't want anything to do with her or the baby.|||haha, thats funny....|||Well you made a mistake. It's time to own up if you're not getting an abortion or adopting it out. You can still be a good Father and not **** it up. You can get a paternity test done through court to find out if you are the father. Then make your choices through that. You can get someone pregnant off a one night stand (both my children were conceived with sex only happening once in the month!). The point of how you screw it up will be how you approach this. Maybe you could try 'dating' her and see where it goes? Right now she's going to need you to be there for her to support her while she births your baby. You are an adult and now you have to do the adult thing.|||It's not like you have to play happy families with her.
If she want's to keep the baby, that is up to her.
The least you will have to provide is financial support.
If you want to take responsibility, and would consider offering something constructive and positive for this child, then you could have more of a role in the child's life.
If you would even consider telling a child that it was a "result of a one night stand and some vodka", then she should raise the child without the likes of you.|||This is a terrible situation and a very stupid thing for you to do and I hope my son's don't end up in your situation, but I still believe that you need to fulfil your commitments to your career and your child. Simply because if you don't you can't adequately provide for your child in the long term and I feel that this one night stand needs to understand this. She also needs to accept some responsibility too. Do try however to put some support emotionally and financial towards your child as you do not want anything to be used against you in the future.
PS..........If you watch JERRY SPRINGER make sure it's yours first.|||it might not be as bad as you think.okay shes pregnant but she might not want to play house with you and might just need some support but i do think that you need to be in this babys life on a regular basis because as you get older your circumstances will change and so will your opinions and if you are not in this babys life it will be to hard on you all in years to come.it doesnt mean that you are a bad person or have stuffed up you life.you got caught out doing what people do. i am sure you will see this baby and fall in love,its now time to grow up and good luck to you in the future...|||I'm glad you are against abortion. Have you two discussed adoption? If she is willing to do that, it sounds like the best option for the two of you. If not, then get prepared for fatherhood. You don't have to marry her and spend the rest of your life with someone you can't stand, but you do need to show her respect, especially in front of your child, and you do need to financially support your child. DO NOT drop out of university. A good education is the best chance you have of getting a job that will support the baby, but you may need to take a part time position while you study to give her what you can.|||well one things for sure. at least you are being honest with yourself. alot of people wouldn't even do that. that would mess up a child even more if they were lied to. i was adopted as my mum gave me away and she though it would give me a better live than what she could give me. people do make mistakes in life and your facing up to it. people can judge but at the end of the day you really need to sit down with this girl and work out your options. if she wants to keep the child that's her decision. but she should respect your decision that you don't want it and she shouldn't expect anything from you. hopefully this has taught you a lesson about unprotected sex. good luck|||be a man and look after the baby you was the one that made it
if you did not want a baby then you should have used something
dint let this child grow up with out a dad support it and love it even if you dint stay with the mum dint let that child grow up call ling someone else dad .its sad that things like this happen and yes it will be lots of stress but you cant let that child down there are so many dad that do this and this affects society and how our children grow up be a man|||Thing is, you had sex with the girl.
You didnt mean to make her pregnant, but you did.
so you have to try and understand
shes probably even more scared then you are.
try not to argue with her,
discuss your options.
and whatever she choses, support her.
you dont have to be in love with her, you dont have to marry her or be with her
but you do have to be there for your child if she decides to keep it.
be a man? thank you:)
good luck.|||either sign away your rights to the child or take care of her and the child. i think that you can make this right if you were to dedicate yourself to it. this is your family now and if you embrace that then it wont be as messed up as yours was. you may not want a baby now, but when you meet your child you really will love them. make nice with the mom, you dont have to be dating her to raise the child together but you do have to get along, and help her through this. there is a reason for everything. have some faith that this is for the best even though it doesnt seem it.|||who ask you **** her..
idiot.. i like baby's anyway ...|||Oh... if you don't want than sell it to other people or ~~~ any thing
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